


I Love The Way You Lie

by lulublue1234



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Hurt, I APOLOGIZE, Lies, Love, M/M, Not sure what I did, Truth, emotional angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:00:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulublue1234/pseuds/lulublue1234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For what you're about to read. I apologise but I watched a Vkook jealousy video last night and something about the look in Jungkook's eyes... Anyway again I apologise. Trigger warnings have been applied due to the theme of abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love The Way You Lie

Please blame the look in Jungkook's eyes throughout this video ([Vkook Jealousy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJGdItJ2wjo)) for this story. His eyes triggered something and I had to write this. Also, while there is no actual abuse it is implied heavily and thus the mature theme and trigger warning. Proceed with caution.

 

******

 

He never means to hurt him, _never_.

 

But the aggression builds when he sees the man smiling at someone else, or talking to someone else, or _touching_ someone else. It starts out as a tiny spark, and with each interaction, it grows till it becomes a blazing inferno that can’t be tamed. He’s tried with all his might to fight it; the need to punish the man, the need to remind the other who he _belongs_ to.

 

But just like tonight, the anger always wins.

 

He stands in the bathroom over the sink, splashing water on his face. He hates this side of himself. The person in the mirror is unrecognizable.

 

He hates it.

 

He feels like a monster.

 

But he can’t break away from it. And if he were to tell the truth, there is a certain sense of power that comes from the other begging, pleading, saying he’ll be more careful. Apologizing. However, there is also guilt, soul-eating guilt, because he knows deep down the other has done nothing wrong. He hasn’t. The other man can’t help that he’s friendly, that he likes to smile and make those around him feel welcome.

 

The irony of it all is that those traits are why he fell so hard for the older man to begin with. But if he fell, what’s to stop others from doing the same? No, he won’t share. All the other’s smiles and touches, they belong to him – him alone.

 

He walks back into the bedroom, a wet towel in his hand. The other is on the floor, scrunched up beside the bed. Welts are beginning to form on the older man’s olive skin, and there is blood dripping from the side of man’s mouth. He remembers the punch that caused the cut and he cringes inwardly, again wondering why he can’t seem to control his rage.

 

_Love._

 

It must be love, he thinks to himself as he approaches the bed. He loves him too much to share. He loves him and it hurts when he smiles with others, or looks at another. Love, _love_ is why he’s so angry.

 

“I'm sorry,” he says as he scoots down to the other’s level on the ground, “I just love you so much.”

 

He reaches his hand out, and his heart breaks when the other flinches in fear.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you, I swear. I promise.” He leans in and kisses the top of the man’s head, “I just want you so bad, and I love you so much. I’m scared, always scared that someone will take you away.”

 

The words make his heart ache because it shows him the truth: It’s not love why he hurts the other -- _it’s fear_.

 

He starts to cry, the fluid is hot against his skin. He’s selfish and he knows it, but he doesn’t want to the other to fear him, he wants to love him. He wants the other to look at him in adoration, and not with frightened eyes.

 

“I swear, I won’t ever do this again.” He wipes the blood from the man’s trembling lips, “I swear, I swear, I swear – never again, hyung.” His voice cracks.

 

He means it.

 

_Everytime._

 

He cries harder, body slumping into the other’s front.

 

Taehyung knows he shouldn't hug him, _shouldn’t_ comfort him.

 

But he does.

 

_Everytime._

 

The elder finds it ironic that after every brutal beating, it is the victim that ends up comforting the attacker. The older man wonders why he stays, why he hasn’t left? Why he believes it every time Jungkook says he won’t do it again? Even when he knows, _it’s a lie_.

 

Taehyung has no answers as to why, he wishes he did. Because maybe then he’d be stronger, maybe then he’d choose to be free. Right now though, he can’t because he loves him too, because he knows that even if the words prove to be a lie, the moment Jungkook speaks them – at that moment, they are the truth.

 

Taehyung kisses the younger man on the top of the head and utters lies of his own.

 

“I know. I believe you.”

 

And after the lie always comes the truth.

 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna lie super nervous about this story. It is a one-shot no second portion. Although, I may do a rewrite from Taehyung's perspective. Anyway please upvote and comment if you like the story or if you have an experience you'd like to share. Abuse is pretty rampant and we often like to pretend it doesn't happen, but it does. Many times the victims are the smiliest, happiest people you know, hiding behind laughter and contagious personalities. 
> 
> Anyways let me know what you think
> 
> Happy (or as happy as it can be) Reading
> 
> Lulu


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